Memphis Fast Fiction Home
Zack Parks

The assistant principal was dragging me by the arm toward the office while my english teacher followed along behind, shouting at the top of her lungs.

“You can be serious, Leo! It’s just a stupid podcast.” She yelled at him.

“He degraded the school, Ms. Jones. Degraded the administration. Degraded me. I am more than serious.” He responded as he tightened his grip on my arm.

I’d never been in trouble before. Not real drag-you-to-the-office trouble, at least. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew I needed to focus on getting good grades to get into college. But when the school started cutting all my honors classes, something in me just snapped.

“You’re really going to screw this kid over for exercising one of the basic freedoms in the constitution?” She’d stopped walking and crossed her arms.

His eyes shot daggers at her, then growled back, “For what he did? God, yes.”

I’d recorded the assistant principal’s morning announcements last week, then edited and auto-tuned them into a song about him loving cat farts. I released it through iTunes. Got a half million downloads over the weekend.

Welcome to sophomore year.

Memphis Note
As a student of the Memphis City Schools, if you say anything bad about a school, administrator or teacher, the school is fully within its rights to suspend the crap out of you, even if you take it down. A lesson several of my fellow students learned the hard way with a board suspension after publishing an underground student newspaper.


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