“You know that point where you’ve been drinkin’ for so long that water starts to taste sweet?”

The man in the white lab coat fiddling with the illegal protonic accelerator tried his best to ignore his unbathed, apocalyptically inebriated roommate.

“Cause, yeah. Man. That’s about where I am right now.” His roommate said, as he tried to put his half-drunk beer down, instead spilling it into the gluon collider, causing a shower of sparks and x-rays to erupt out of it.

And that was it. That was the last straw that broke the patience of the man who was planning to destroy the world.

“Do you know why I abide you, you miserable waste of vital heavy minerals? Why I allow you to constantly eat the food on my side of the fridge and ignore your ejaculate stains on the couch? Because it is cheap to live here! Cheaper than any where else I could find! But, so help me Einstein, that does not mean that I’m not above pulling your brain out of your pathetic little skull and sticking it in a mason jar on my shelf!”

After that, his roommate never offered him a beer again.

Memphis Note
One of the best things about Memphis is that living here is an insanely good deal. You have fantastic spaces for rent at bottom-dollar rates, some of the best food on the planet, culture and art lurking around the corner to jump all over you, and neighbors that you probably wished weren’t so comfortable with dropping by unannounced. You know, the perfect place for a mad scientist practicing his craft.

The sun hung in a cerulean blue sky. Perfect weather for them to check out the animal enclosures.

“What do you think she’s doing?” Perkins asked, squinting through the glare on the glass.

“I…I have no idea.” Said Winchester, eyes wide.

“No! It can’t be! Guys! I totally know what she’s doing!” Cleveland excitedly clapped at his moment of clarity. “She’s grooming it! She’s looking for fleas and mites and other stuff! She’s after a snack!”

The three friends hooted and hollered at this realization. Their fourth, however, was more taciturn.

“Guys, you, uh, don’t think there are any, you know, alligators around here do you?” Lamar barely whispered the A-word, fearful one might pop out of the air and grab him.

“Enough, Lamar.” Winchester chided. “You saw one alligator on the way over here and you’re still freaking out? Let it go.”

On the other side of the glass, the woman in the middle of vacuuming realized she was being watched. When one of the four rhesus monkeys sitting on her balcony waved at her, she shrieked and ran.

“They watch us all day and we never do that,” said Perkins, annoyed.

The others nodded in agreement.

Memphis Note
One hot summer in the late 70s, four rhesus monkeys escaped from the Memphis Zoo. They fled north, taking up residence at the Parkway Apartments, a condo building mostly populated be retirees. Where they stayed, much to the consternation of the residents and the zoo keepers, for several days, getting a taste of what it was like to watch instead of be watched.